I Got Sexually Assaulted Whilst I Slept In My Hostel Bed

Back in the Australian spring of 2018, I was solo travelling, staying long term in an 8-bed room in a hostel on Bondi beach.

One day whilst I was quickly making myself something to eat, I was approached by a German boy of around my age. Being a chatty person, who is always keen to make friends, I had no problem making small talk. He asked what room I was in, I responded by naming some of the people in my room, as opposed to the room number.

That evening I climbed into bed after work and passed out. Later on, when everyone in my room was in bed sleeping, the door swung open, someone must have accidentally not closed it properly. In walked the German boy from the kitchen, “Robyn” he called out, which half woke me up. Assuming it was one of my friends in the room wanting me for something, I rolled over, grunting “what”.

He walked right over to my bed and got in next to me. I was half asleep, confused and a bit scared. “Go away” I pushed him and turned away, now knowing who it was. He smelt like a distillery and cigarettes. “Robyn it’s me” he whispered in my ear. He clung his arms around me and suddenly I had no idea what to do. I elbowed and hissed “go away I’m trying to sleep”. “Don’t you know who I am? It’s me” as his hand trailed down and tucked itself inside my underwear. I elbowed again and tried to wiggle free. “Don’t you want me too? You want to have sex with me” as he inserted his fingers inside me. This shocked me and I mustered all my half-asleep, worn-out energy to elbow and kick at the same time, enough to get him to stop. “Get off” I hissed, pushing him enough to get him out of my bed. “I thought you wanted me” he shot back. I ignored and turned over, tears welling in my eyes, confused, trying to comprehend what just happened.

He went and sat down on another girls bed. At this point, a few people in the room had been disturbed by the movement and had woken slightly, including this girls boyfriend. He walked right up to him and dragged him out of the room. The boyfriend then came to me and asked if I was okay and what had happened. By this point, everyone in the room was awake and listening. I recalled the story for them, saying I didn’t want to wake any of them so tried being quiet. They, to my relief, reassured me that they’d have rather be woken up by me getting rid of someone like that. They urged me to report him, but I was scared to, I thought I wouldn’t be believed or made to feel like it was my fault. So I left it. I went back to sleep feeling dirty and gross. I woke the next morning to find items that had come out of his pockets in my bed, reminding me of what happened during the night. I removed it and changed my sheets and washed my body vigorously.

Throughout the next few weeks, I kept seeing him around the hostel. Every time I felt anxious, dirty and gross, my friend who was in my room, every time, told me I should talk to the reception staff about it. She kept reminding me it wasn’t right and he shouldn’t be able to get away with it. But I felt embarrassed and scared.

It was still a few months before I was to go back home to the UK, and for the most of that, I was staying in hostels. I turned out to not be too worried about it, although one night in San Francisco I was in a room alone with a guy who gave off weird vibes, so I just asked to move rooms and they were more than okay with it. Since then I have travelled and stayed in hostel’s again, nothing like this has happened since, but it is something that has played on my mind a lot. It comes up at random times, both when I’m in hostels and going about my daily life. I regret not making more of a fuss about it at the time, as my room mate’s, when I told them what happened, were upset that they didn’t know what was happening so couldn’t do anything. They also wished I didn’t worry about not waking them.

I like to think of myself as a really strong female, but knowing that I feel like this is something that is my fault, and embarrassed that it happened makes me worried for other individuals who may not have such a strong mindset, and how this might have really negatively affected them.

Although before this point I was careful, as I knew things like this happened. Like many others, I never thought it would happen to me. It reminded me that as a female, being too careful isn’t really a thing, and to trust your instincts. I had an off feeling about this guy, and I was right. But I was also wrong to not say anything to the hostel staff, as he could have then followed on to do this to another girl.

There is a fine line between trusting and being careful. It’s hard to navigate but can save you if you take the time to try. It’s easy to become complacent when nothing bad happens, but that is often when something bad does. It is important to not let negative things affect what you want to do too badly in life. I feel very lucky that I haven’t lost my desire to take risks and see the world.

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