The Unnerved

The fire was roaring in the fire place flooding her room with a faint light. The crackling of the burning wood interrupted the haunting silence. The golden light flickered on the black rivers of mascara running down her cheeks as the crimson end of the cigarette inched closer to her pale lips. She leaned back on her rocking chair and let the smoke out into the thick air. The cigarette slowly burned through and touched her fingers. She let loose the burning stub, closed her eyes and let out a huge sigh.

She thought of all the times she should have walked away from him. She should have left when the meticulously built castle of lies started falling apart. She should have left when he told her that he loved her but his eyes were empty. She should have left when he hugged her but stopped smelling her hair.

Today when he came home she no longer recognized the man she saw. His lips smiled while his eyes were glassy. He reeked of cheap wine and cherry blossoms. She always thought of him as her home. A safe haven, her place of peace and her comfort. Today, her home reeked of betrayal and rotten love. Cherry blossoms, that’s how it smelled. She couldn’t remember when he stopped being her home. But today, she saw her home falling apart, brick by brick, knocked over by the reality. The reality she knew existed deep down but didn’t want to acknowledge. Denial eventually tears you down. Doesn’t it?

The wind from her balcony door started turning colder by minute. The trees in her courtyard bowed their heads to the mighty wind. A sudden flash of lightning fell on her face from the window exaggerating the tear stains on her cheeks. The thunder followed the lightning and startled her. It’s weird that both are born at the same time but the thunder can never catch up with the lightning and see it’s brightness. Is the deafening sound of the thunder a roar of dejection? The two majestic entities that are meant to be together but can never be.

She suddenly stood up from the chair and walked towards her book shelf dragging the cigarette butts and the ash with her long black night gown. She pulled out a folder from the shelf and took out the papers. She hugged the papers and smelled them. They still smelled like him. She walked swiftly towards the fire place and dropped the papers in the fire. The flames started raging as she sat back in the chair and lit another cigarette. She looked at the fire as the ashes rose into the chimney. A sudden gust of wind blew away the bedsheets on her bed erasing his impressions on them.

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